New Beginnings and MORE

Good-bye 2011!!

It's amazing how much has happened in the last year.  It has been both wonderful and difficult.

We traveled the world (kind of).

New York (Technically 2010)

Israel (with Sandals Church) in May

Big Sur (beginning of our Summer trip) sorry so blurry!

A quick stop in Oregon

Seattle (sharing some of my first memories with my family!!)

Still Seattle - Puget Sound

Still Seattle (The kids had a great time!!)

Then to Idaho (My parents home is so fun!)

Yellowstone was probably our favorite stop.

Old Faithful (Yellowstone)

Our stuffed bears playing cards. Whose don't?  (Yellowstone)

The Narrows at Zion in Utah

The kids loved the hike!! (Zion) (end of summer trip)

We also went to San Carlos, Camp Pendalton, and Chicago which I do not have pictures of unfortunately.

Decisions were also made in 2011 that have shaped our futures significantly!

1.  We decided to adopt a dog. Kona is like having another child in the home.  But she has become a very loved member of the family now.

2.  Our roommates, the Navarros, moved into their own home after 7 years of life together.  What a huge blessing they have been and will continue to be.  God has blessed them in a new city and a new direction.  I'm so excited to see what God does with them!!

3.  Lastly, and probably the biggest change, was the decision to follow God by leaving the church we have loved for so long and go to new place to minister and lead.  Where? When? We don't have any confirmation of that yet.  However, we have committed to go to any place God wants us to be.

This last decision is what prompted me to change this blog.  We will probably be moving out of Riverside, our home for the last 18 - 20 years.  So, I would like to use this as our connecting point to the details of the new ministry and life we are heading towards.  Facebook is awesome, and so is Twitter.  However, I can not fill you in on all the details as well as in this venue.  Of course there is the phone and skype too (so many amazing options!!!).  I just think I can share our hearts so well through writing.

We are so excited to see the direction God takes us as we faithfully trust him with all the details.  We are excited to use the gifts he has developed and continues to develop in us.  We are excited to share the authentic love of God with whomever He chooses to put in our path along the way.

We are truly excited to follow Christ on this amazing JOURNEY!!

Perspective

Welcome back if you are still following me somehow.

As you know, I do not pretend to know what life is all about. So, as a disclaimer for this blog entry, I need to say that this is not me telling everyone what to do. It may not make sense to some of you either. It is purely a sharing of where I am at currently in my life, and IF it's something you are seeing in your own life right now, then I hope this helps.

If we were all honest, we give a lot of advice and opinions we ourselves never follow. We hear information from someone or read it somewhere and then commence in telling others exactly what they need to do to make their lives "better". We tell them, "if you just do this..." or "I read this and it works..." or "If EVERYONE did this we would not have this problem...." or "It's simple..you need to change..." Yet, we ourselves don't actually do those very things....if we were really honest.

We seem to all know what "works". So why are we sooooooo screwed up. I guess it's not that simple after all.

This is not an attack on anyone. We are all just trying to help. Our intentions are noble and filled with love. We are trying to be the friend we all want. So where are we going wrong?

Perspective! We see life from OUR own perspective. It is actually somewhat impossible to see it from any other point of view. We think about what makes sense to us and then HOPE that others make sense of it the same way. Then, we are absolutely shocked when they get mad at us, stop talking to us, find new friends, say something completely hurtful, fill in the blank______...... You have all been there. It usually ends with, "What did I say/do?"

Perspective is so important that when we think about it, all our hopes, dreams, hurts, failures, decisions, values, direction is based on what perspective we see life. I guess the problem isn't in having that perspective. The problem we ALL have, including me, is that we almost refuse to see any other perspective.

Something I tell my kids on a REGULAR basis is, "If you were that person, what would you think or how would you feel?" Since we all have different perspectives, it's not a fix all to ask that question. If we all have different perspectives, wouldn't it be true that we might all have different reactions? We do have similarities in reactions, feelings, behaviors, and reasoning. So why do have such different perspectives? I have no answer except that maybe that's what God wanted for us so we could learn and grow?

In light of this complicated life point, I have been challenged to ask myself the very same question I make my kids ask, "If I was that person or in that situation, what would I think or feel?" However, I'm going to take it one step further. I'm also going to ask myself, "Based on the truth of God, what truth do I find in this situation?" Knowing those two things is already beginning to help me do several things differently. I am forcing myself to see others and situations through the best perspective, God's perspective. This is wholly impossible because we do not fully understand GOD. I do not pretend that I will every see it truly His way. However, giving up and saying, "Since I'll never see it 100% right, then I don't care. I'll just do what I want," will only sustain the problem even more.

The changes I have seen since I started implementing this have been strange but nice.

1. I have been challenged to pray for them in love. God actually challenged me to put down my pride with others and pray for them and bless them. EVEN WHEN I am furious with them. HARD? ABSOLUTELY YES!!!! (still working on this forever)

2. I am calmer and have a more level headed response. (50% of the time)

3. I don't feel like I'm constantly running around trying to fix things because something feels wrong or broken. (40% of the time and rising)

4. My relationships are more compassionate and giving. I'm less focused on what I want which actually ends up making me feel closer to them. (50% of the time and growing)

5. I'm more willing to hear and learn where I am wrong and need change in my own life. (25% of the time and hopefully growing)

We all want a better life than the one we've lived. Even in the best life we can find something that we'd change. So, why not try looking at it completely differently? Why not try to see others' points of view? Why not try to see it God's way? Why not?

Fixed....

I'm Back.... For how long? I have no idea. I'm trying again to keep up with this. We'll see. Now go back through all my blog entries and see how many times I've said that. HAHAHAHA

If you're still out there and a homeowner you'll relate to this next portion of my blog. I'm going to call this new section "The JOY of Owning a Home".

The JOY of Owning a Home: #1

So, as you know, owning a home means CONSTANT FIXING REQUIRED!!! I really don't enjoy this part of owning a home. As you probably agree, I love when our money can go to more useful things like family time, vacations, people who need help or even some clothes that fit for my kids. Unfortunately, no matter how much I complain, this is a part of the decision to buy a home, and they definitely won't magically fix themselves.

Since about a year ago our kitchen faucet started dying a slow methodical death. First, the button that switched between the spray and and the running water got stuck here and there. Then, when I tried to turn the faucet from side to side it started getting harder and harder. Next, the pull out handle would fall out when I tried to put it back in. However, the nail in the coffin was the the sprayer started spraying in SEVERAL directions.

Every single one of those symptoms gradually grew worse over the last 6 months. By the end water was spraying everywhere because of broken spray holes (not clogged, BROKEN), I had to use two hands to turn the faucet side to side, the pull out spray handle was resting somewhere near the holder, and I could not get the button to go to straight running water at all.

Today was the day that it had to be fixed if I wanted to keep the counters and everyone near the sink dry. So I went online to look up kitchen faucets. Found myself one of the beautiful Danze faucets to be my favorite. Picked up the faucet and now it is sitting on my counter waiting for Mr. Fix-it (aka Nathan Brown) to install.

Even though the list will continue to grow, probably faster by the day, I feel like we have accomplished at least one of those homeowner projects. Not that I'm counting but we have now had a total of 4 kitchen sink faucets since we bought our home 10 years ago. So, I'm pretty sure, this will not be the last.

Now onto finishing Leah's room redecorating project which started 1 1/2 years ago.

Surprise!!!

Thank you to everyone who helped us make this gift to our kids so
exciting. It took them a while to figure it out.

Not at the check-in. Not when Nate checked in our bags. Not when they
were given their passports and tickets. Finally, Nate asked them to
read their tickets. Still stumped!! So, Nate asked the security check
point employee to tell them where they were going and their jaws
dropped. Then came "no way!!!!"

Surprise accomplished!!!

Now to wait to get on the plane. Hopefully, the onslaught of questions
will be settled before the 5 hr. flight.

DON'T Ruin the Surprise!! Please!

I like and dislike surprises. The last time I was thrown a surprise party was the day Leah was rushed to the hospital not breathing. So, I think that day made surprises not so much fun for me. However, this did not ruin all surprises for me. I like little surprises that show that others are thinking of me, AND I love surprising others.

BTW: I have started a new love language. It is Moments of Thoughtfulness. I don't care what someone does or gives me as long as it is apparent that they were actually thinking of me not doing it out of obligation.

Moving on...

All this to say...WE ARE SURPRISING THE KIDS!!! They have no idea, and it MUST stay that way!!!! We are taking them to Hawaii for spring break!! I'm actually going to sneak around this week packing them and getting them ready to go.

Yes, I have slipped up a few times where I have had to almost lie to them about the whole thing.

Talking in front of Leah to one of my friends about going.

Leah: Are we going to Hawaii too?

Me: Daddy and I are going.

Leah: When

Me: Soon.

Leah: I wish we could go too.

Me: Someday, I promise.

Leah: So who is going to stay with us while you and daddy go?

Me: Still working on it.

I'm a terrible mom. I want to just tell her (& Shey), but I don't want to hear them talk nonstop about it asking me every 15 min., "When do we leave?" for the next 7 days. So, we are keeping it a secret.

"When are we going to tell them?" you ask. Don't know. We are still figuring that all out. We are definitely telling them before we get on the plane. However, we want to sleep the night before. So, I think we may tell them the morning we leave. One of my brilliant ideas is to tell them that Uncle Moi is dropping us off at the airport, and we want them to come with us. Then, when we get there turn and say to them, "Oh. Hey. Do you guys want to go too? Well, come on. Let's go!" One of my friends kindly told me that this may not work unless we remind them that this will not happen every time they take us to the airport.

Anyway, I can't wait to see the looks on their cute little faces when reality hits them that we are really going!

HEY FACEBOOK FRIENDS

Do you have a blog I can follow? I like reading about others and their lives. If you are not on the list to the right, please leave a comment with your blog address so I can start following you.

THANKS!!

Just a Thought or Two

This morning I woke up with MANY things on my mind. You know you've done it. You've woken up stuck with what to deal with first. You sit/lay in bed hiding under the covers paralyzed by the day ahead of you. "What do I do first?" you say as the list of things to do gets longer and longer. This was one such morning for me.

I had obligations though. I had to get the kids to school. SO after a few paralyzing minutes, my routine took over. I got up, threw on clothes that would at the very least get me decently there and back, and corralled the kids into the car. Off I drove, headache and all, towards the kids' school realizing that I had no idea what my hair looked like. With a quick glance in the rear view mirror I surmised that it really doesn't matter all that much. I was not getting out of the car at any point. I then brought my attention back to the task at hand; driving the oddly cooperative children, singing to Toby Mac at the top of their lungs no less, to school. They tumbled out of the car, and I exited the half moon circle filled with crazed parents glaring at each other with the look of, "Don't you know that I should have the right of way no matter what."

Entertained by the display of selfishness going on around me I headed towards home with my warm, quiet, sink into it mattress calling my name. Oh, how I wish my mind would have stopped racing, because by the time I got home the mattress's loud call had been completely silenced. The MANY things on mind took over again. So now here I am, 6 hours later, still trying to sort them out.

What are these MANY things, you ask? Well that would just bore you or seem to you as silly, mundane, pointless, etc...take your pick. The MANY things are really not the point. The point is, how do I get them organized and out of my head? I'm sure you understand this feeling as well. If I could just get them out of my head, I could move on with my day in a more sane-like manner. BUT no! It is not to be. UNLESS?.....of course....BLOG them? That's it. I'll blog them. That will do the trick. (I hope)

I suck at blogging. Yes. It's the truth. I am inconsistent. I have no one direction. I sometimes write too much or too little. I confuse people. AND I'm pretty sure I'm writing the same thing as some other poor soul out there. So I though about it. Should I write anyway? Should I risk the vulnerability of sharing me, the real me, with the general public? Should I risk the criticism that I know you are probably doing right now (don't lie...I do it too)? So I decided, obviously, that my sanity was worth it.

Then came the brilliant thought that I could be as real with you as I could possibly be. Tadda!!! Now presenting the top 10 reasons I don't blog!!

10. No Body Reads this Anyway: It's true. Do you REALLY read the blogs you come across or subscribe to? Do you take the time to get to know a little bit more about your friends and their needs, fears, concerns, likes, dislikes, etc....?

9. Organization: I usually am disorganized in my day/week. I, unfortunately, fly by the seat of my pants as they say. It's really quite a quandary I live with. I like the spontaneity of it and I loathe the feeling of letting someone down due to the insensitivity that sometimes comes along with disorganization.

8. Children: I find that many people write about their children. I feel unsafe in that. I love reading about others and their family antics. What I have a hard time with is subjecting my children to the criticism of others. They get to allow me the privilege of sharing about them. If they don't want to me share, I will stay silent.

7. Vulnerability: Raise your hand if you want to walk onto the American Idol stage naked, no make-up, and unshowered! That's what it sometimes feels like to blog for me. I'm laying my naked soul before an audience hoping that the judges will give grace to the imperfection of who I am.

6. Subject: As much as I don't care what the subject of each of my blogs is, I do care if people read it. I find myself only blogging the things that I think people would really care about or comment on. If I don't think that the subject is good enough, entertaining enough, insightful enough...the list goes on and on...I just won't write it.

5. Time: Is the time it takes worth it? Is there something better I could be doing with my time? Well, of course there is!!! Don't be silly. We all have "better" things to do with our time. We just avoid them at all cost.

4. Pictures: I used to only blog if I could include pictures in the process. I have tried to mix it up this year because my life is not always in pictures. However, I know I have skipped over blogs that are too long to read. If you've made it this far into my blog, CONGRATS!!! You win knowing more about me. Lucky you!!

3. Hurting Someone's Feelings: I must start with an apology if I have ever hurt your feelings in any of posts. I thing I think about way too much is if I am or about to hurt someone's feelings. It actually controls a lot of what I say and do. Oh, and yes, I know I just have to get over that, because it is inevitable that this will happen at some point. I just don't like it when I know I have done unintentionally.

2. Comments: I fear and covet your comments. I know that most of the people that read blogs have an opinion. I do too. However, do you really have to leave such nasty comments? I have read some of the meanest statements in the comment section of some blogs. Of course they leave it as "anonymous". Like that is somehow making it less personal. Any time a negative comment is left for someone I hurt for them. So far, I have only received one in my blogging career. However, as bad as that was, I think it hurts even more when no one leaves a comment at all. NO PITY COMMENTS PLEASE!

1. Over Spiritualization: I commend people for being bold in their faith. In fact I think I may even envy the gumption to post something so inspiring. So, keep it inspiring to REAL LIFE! Not the life of others. YOU!! How is God leading you? I don't want to know what you think others should do with their Christian journey. I want to know how YOU have been inspired in your prayer time, reading time, conversations with other Christians. I learn so much from what people have learned in their journey with Christ through the struggles they encounter. OR, in the victories they experience! I love rejoicing in those moments as well.

There you go. I made it. WAY TOO MUCH information about me and my thoughts.

One request...if you made it this far...I'm thinking of renaming this blog. ANY IDEAS?

HAVE A BLESSED DAY!!!

JOY!!!

I'm 3 people! Not really of course. I just have three different jobs that I do aside from my everyday mom/wife/friend roles.

#1 - I'm a music teacher. I love this part of me!!! It's my deep down true passion. My student list continues to grow which is amazing during this time of recession. I thought that since music lessons are an extra expense that I would have one or two students. Not so.. I have 5 regular students scheduled and 2 more starting in a couple weeks. What a wonderful blessing that God is allowing me... to work within my passion.

#2 - I make cakes! Yes...i know...can you say DIFFERENT! Well, something you might not know about me is I also have a passion for art. I rarely get to express this on paper but apparently it translates to cake very well. I'm having so much fun doing this. My goal is always to make a cake that is not only beautiful to look at, but also AMAZING to eat. I mean, what's a cake if it is not good to eat?

#3 - Lastly is my sound engineer me. This part of me is the techy geek part of me. I love the intricacies of making a group of musicians sound amazing and pulling off professional productions. Who says a worship service has to sound amateur (A little controversial in many ways)? I've continued to grow and develop this part of me over the last 9 1/2 years with the help of amazing men around me. I really have not come across any other girls yet. I'm sure they are out there. I would love to meet them actually. I look forward to the growth that is ahead of me because there is so much more I can learn and want to do with this.

So, all this to say I love how God has placed in my lap some amazing opportunities to serve others. That is how I see all this by the way. Every single one of my jobs is hopefully bringing a small bit of God's joy to others. There are many VERY serious things going on all over the world. I never want to pretend, ignore, or diminish the struggles of so many. However, by serving others in these small ways and bringing a small bit of joy to their otherwise stressful lives, I get to see the JOY God so much wants to bring us ALL.

No Complaints

So, last night we were driving to Disneyland for a family night. As I was reading my son's story about the elephant that wanted to go to school for the first time KABLAM!!! The passenger's side window in my husband's car LITERALLY blew up in my lap. I have absolutely no idea how it happened. We don't know if something hit it or if it shattered on it's own. Either way I now had glass all over my lap, in my shirt, in my pants, in my water bottle, & in my hair. YAY! Another thing to add to the list of issues to be taken care of! We pulled off the freeway, and stopped at the gas station with the vacuums.

I looked back and saw that not only had I been freaked out by the incident, but so had my children in the back seat. They were calm and collected, yet you could see the fear in their eyes over not knowing what had just happened. Nate cleaned up the glass, made an appointment to get the glass replaced, and drove us back home.

A decision had to made at this point. Do we scratch our plans and stay home, OR jump in the truck and still go? We definitely would not get to spend a ton of time at Disneyland. So, do we go knowing that our time was limited? We decided our family time was WAY TOO IMPORTANT. We went.

Now, there is something you need to know. My husband will be working nonstop for the next week. He will even be gone 3 of those days. This was the last night for about 10 days that he had to spend with the kids while they would be awake. So, the decision was simple. Even though the kids and I were still a little shaken up, our family time would not be deterred.

We spent the next 4 hours laughing, playing, screaming, eating, and just plain enjoying each other. My kids at one point even gave each other a great big hug. UNPROMPTED!

I guess there will ALWAYS be something to complain about. There will ALWAYS be things that don't go as we had planned them. There will ALWAYS be things that upset us, hurt us, scare us, and make us want to let the world know how UNFAIR life is. However, I chose to let the amazing unprompted hug between my children take the place of those thoughts that seemed so much easier at the time.

I think that we think that being happy and content in our lives is the easy part...if it weren't for all these people, problems, and circumstances which ruin our perfect happy world.... Actually that is not the easy part. It is actually so much easier to see and think about what goes wrong. It takes so much MORE EFFORT to think and dwell on the good and great things that God blesses us with.

I'm tired. I'm tired of the negative in my life. It wears me out. It makes me sick (literally) to think about it. So what do I do? How do I let it go? I really don't know. I guess I just have to do the hard/difficult/impossible thing. Focus on the blessings God has given me. Thank Him everyday for the opportunity to serve him. Follow His direction no matter what, and let Him have all the crap (excuse my language). This in no way means that the negative won't affect me. I'm human just like everyone else. I think this is a choice I want to make in my life right now.

So, in short (ok not so short), I have no complaints......

Realizations...

Last week I fasted from Facebook, Twitter, & blogs. I realized several things:

1. I spend WAY too much time on all of them (it's mostly the games on Facebook I fear).

2. I don't know what is going on in others' lives unless I read about it on their posts (just like you are probably doing now about me.)

3. Even if I spend "quality time" with someone in person, I still will not know what is going on with them till I check Facebook/Twitter/Blogs (again...I'm in the same boat with my communication skills).

4. I feel safer finding out about what's going on with them.... OR... having conversations with them knowing that I have a starting point according to a comment they have made on one of the above medias mentioned (through texting, e-mail, or chatting OF COURSE)!

All this to say, I appologize for not actually "talking" to all of you. SO, I have resolved to make communication more personal and more audible than I have been doing since the introduction of Facebook/Blogs/Twitter.

Are you with me?!!!!